Just Do the Next Right Thing

Wash dishes.  Sweep the floor.  It is not fun, but the work teaches us.  Doing the work with commitment transforms us.  If we can just do the next right thing – the thing that needs to be done at work, at home, in life – we transform who we are on the inside through the […]

Families, Transitions, and Transformations

Families are messy. Each member of every family is constantly changing and growing. A beautiful mess of human beings of all ages and stages learning to do life with one another.  So how can we make transitions easier? And how can we turn transitions into opportunities for growth and transformation?  If family change is certain, […]

Real Men are Defenders

As I write this, it is Memorial Day here in the United States. A time to reflect on the ultimate sacrifice so many military families have made. It’s a fitting time to end this series on masculinity by reflecting on what it means to be a defender.  Real men are defenders. Ancient Warriors The ancient […]

Real Men are Menders

As a maker, a man understands the value of things. He understands the time, effort, and craftsmanship that go into a quality product. So he doesn’t just toss it aside when it becomes worn or needs repair.  Instead, a real man mends. He takes time to understand the thing he values so he can have […]

Real Men are Makers

Real men are makers. True masculinity is expressed in creation. The modern video game culture predominantly communicates that men earn value by conquest and destruction.  I’m convinced that boys are hooked by these games because of a natural desire for adventure, a desire to be tested, a desire to build competence and ultimately be found […]

True Masculinity

Boys of All Ages… Real men are defenders, makers, and menders.  True masculinity gives. You may never have been taught that. You may have been sold a toxic, empty masculinity about conquest. Maybe you have internalized the message through a lifetime of soda ads, beer ads, clothing ads, and video games. You’ve been told that […]

Transforming Masculinity

What’s Happening in the World… On April 23, 2018 a young man (25) from Ontario drove a rental van down a crowded Toronto sidewalk. He plowed into pedestrians killing 10 and injuring at least 15. In a Facebook message he posted before the attack he wrote “The Incel Rebellion has begun!” (Incel stands for involuntary […]

Time and Transforming Relationships

An immensely valuable tool in building strong relationships is to appreciate (and harness) the power of distinctions. We learn about the world in which we live and co-create that world via the power of distinctions. Essentially, when we understand how we can use time in transforming relationships, we create an intentional existence.  Yet, for many […]

Be Impeccable With Your Word

In my practice, I try to share simple, powerful ideas on how to improve communication skills so our relationships – both personal and professional – can thrive. In my last article, I talked about the importance of deep listening. Today I want to focus on being impeccable when it comes to one word – but.  […]

Foundation of Communication

The single most effective thing we can do to improve communication across all important relationships in our life is this . . . listen. Simple. But not easy to do in practice. Human beings are notoriously bad at listening. Even those who think they are good listeners can likely improve. Without intentional, regular practice each […]